Feng Jin stood on the lonely track, looking at the starry sky in the distance, feeling as if she had become a part of this world, insignificant and inescapable. She knew that her destiny was a journey on this railway – an unforeseeable journey, perhaps to the end, perhaps never to the end. She was not afraid of the darkness ahead, after all, she was used to it. Like all lonely travelers, Feng Jin’s heart had long become numb, no longer afraid of any challenges from fate.
“Fear crushes flesh and blood”, this sentence is like a sharp blade, cutting through Feng Jin’s past. In this wasteland, every step is full of pain and hardship. Every heartbeat seems to remind her that she has never really found peace. Fear has become her companion and her haunting dream. On this long railway, Feng Jin has never really been freed from fear. She thought she would be trapped in that feeling until she died of old age. But this is not the case. Feng Jin suddenly realized that fear is just a scar that cannot be healed in everyone’s heart, and she has learned to coexist with it.
She used to think that escaping is the way to solve problems, but Feng Jin now understands that escaping will never make problems disappear. On the contrary, escaping will only make herself a more lonely traveler. She began to think about whether this fear can bring her any answers? She tried to make herself numb, and tried to make herself no longer care about those meaningless pains. But she found that numbness is not a long-term solution. Because behind numbness, there is often a deeper pain, and the abyss of pain often makes people want to give up everything. But Feng Jin did not choose to give up, she did not choose to retreat.
“Courage tears the chest” – this sentence is a bit ironic. Courage is not innate, but something that people gradually gain through various pressures in life. Feng Jin is not a born hero. She just gradually understands what courage is after being oppressed and beaten again and again. Courage does not come from external motivation, nor is it some kind of fearless determination. It comes from a certain voice deep in her heart, a power that makes people keep going. Every time Feng Jin feels helpless, she always asks herself: “If I don’t persist, what else can I do?” So she keeps walking, walking on the endless railway, towards an unsolvable puzzle.
“Glory baptizes the body” – if Feng Jin’s soul has a process of cultivation, then her body is the sacrifice in this process of cultivation. Glory is not what she pursues, but inner peace. She doesn’t need to be remembered by the world, nor does she care about the evaluation of the outside world. Glory is just an illusory bubble that will break with a slight poke. The only thing that can really keep her going is her understanding and cognition of herself. She knows that only after experiencing countless hardships can there be real growth, and only after countless falls can she really stand up.
Feng Jin is like an abandoned orphan, walking alone in this wasteland. She understands that she is not particularly outstanding, nor does she have a prominent background, or even nothing. But the only thing she has is the heart that is unwilling to give up. She doesn’t believe in the good luck that falls from the sky, nor does she believe that she can become strong overnight. What she believes in is a hammer in her hand, hitting the hard rock hard until it finally cracks and reveals a little light.
“The seeds of thought” and “the sprouts of manas”, these words are like witnesses of Feng Jin’s growth. In the past, she also doubted her future and whether she could really find a place in this world. But she didn’t give up. Because she knew that even if the seeds were not optimistic, as long as it grew tenaciously, it would eventually break through the soil and see the sun. Feng Jin didn’t think too much about the future. She focused more on the present and concentrated all her strength to face the challenges in front of her. She always believed that everything would unfold naturally with the passage of time.
“Footprints of Destiny” is not just Feng Jin’s personal history, it is more like a chain wrapped around her, reminding her all the time that no matter how far she goes, she can’t get rid of the shackles of fate. Perhaps fate is an absurd thing, full of uncertainty and paradox. You think you have it under control, but it always catches you off guard. Feng Jin has long stopped fighting against fate. She has learned to accept it, accepting all the harm and tests it brings her. Because she knows that fate has no answers, only choices. And her choice is to keep moving forward on this endless railway until she reaches the end.
“The sound of the same wish” is like an eternal flame in Feng Jin’s heart. Its voice is small, but it will always echo in her life. It tells her that although the world is full of absurdity and injustice, and although everyone is struggling for their own survival, everyone who insists on living is worthy of respect. Feng Jin did not choose to fight against the world, but learned to reconcile with herself in this wasteland.
Feng Jin’s growth is precisely an absurd but real adventure. She did not usher in a happy ending after some twists and turns like the hero in the fairy tale. All she has is growth itself – the kind of tenacious power in the storm. In this absurd world, she learned how to coexist with fear, courage, glory, and fate, how to accept her imperfect self, and how to stand up again after countless falls.
And this Star Dome Railway may be a symbol of all the years Feng Jin has gone through. It has neither an end nor a beginning, only endless waiting and crossing.