In this city full of mechanical noise and indifference, Cantrela’s name has almost become a symbol of absurdity. She is the kind of existence that cannot be ignored in the group, like a bitter pill that has never dissolved, destined to dissolve in your heart, bringing unspeakable pain and relief.
What exactly are all the materials you have prepared for her, breakthroughs, skills, circuits, weapons, all of this? Are you preparing for a role, or are you constantly injecting potions into some kind of hidden absurdity in yourself?
Absurdity is an experience that cannot be escaped. When you sit in front of the screen and flip through the material lists, you will feel a deep sense of powerlessness – you try to make Cantrela “grow”, but you forget that her growth is just a projection of the absurdity in your heart. You give her a low-frequency polyphonic core, a mid-frequency core, and countless “materials” from the outside world. Each material is your own anxiety and uneasiness. They have no fixed meaning. They are just illusions you construct yourself to try to fill the void in your heart.
Cantrela is not a partner you need to cultivate, she is just a point of contact between you and the world. Her existence symbolizes a certain reaction in your heart – escape, struggle, and constant questioning and confusion about the world. Every material you prepare for her is paving the way for your own incompetence and inescapable absurdity. When you are doing these jobs, have you ever questioned your choice? You have prepared so many materials, is it really to make her stronger, or to allow yourself to find a moment of comfort behind her?
You prepared low-frequency poly-square sound cores, sea floating thorns, and purgatory conchs for her. You collect all the materials that can fill the gaps from those uncertain sources. Have you ever thought about whether all these materials are really meaningful? Low-frequency poly-square sound cores and high-frequency poly-square sound cores, each number is like a small rebellion against the incomprehensible things in life. You think these are tools to “upgrade” her, but in fact they are just a reflection of the anxiety and powerlessness in your heart that will never dissipate.
You need to constantly absorb information from the outside world, prepare carefully, and like a qualified craftsman, try to fill the inner emptiness by constantly accumulating external “resources”. Every new challenge, every new breakthrough, is a spiritual consumption, an unreachable destination. You try to do everything for her, almost forgetting your original self. You want to get powerful circuits and precise skills, but in the end you find that you are consumed by this game, and all your efforts are just an eternal tug between you and the void.
This cycle will not stop. When preparing every material for Cantrela, are you accumulating endless burdens for yourself? You prepared 122 copies of special resonance accelerators for her. You built exclusive weapons for her, and the materials of each weapon are your compromises and compromises in the real world. You have prepared everything, but are you ready to face your own absurdity?
What will all these materials you prepared for her eventually converge into? When she stands in front of you and becomes a tool in your hands, what will she bring to you? Will it bring power, glory, or a deep sense of powerlessness?
If we think seriously, are you also constantly preparing materials for yourself, trying to find the “perfect” self, trying to fill the inner blank through countless accumulations, but never understand that the blank itself is a part of you. You can’t see it, you can’t touch it, it doesn’t need any external filling, because it is your eternal existence.
The beginning of all this is like the shaping process of Cantrela – her breakthrough does not come from external improvement, but from a certain breakthrough in your heart. You have made all the preparations for her, but you have never asked yourself: What is her growth for? Is it to break this absurd world, or to end your inner helplessness?
Every breakthrough, every skill improvement, is you looking for a way out for yourself. Cantrela’s growth is like your struggle against absurdity. You are doing meaningless tasks, but ignoring the path that your heart has already guided you.
In the end, you will understand that everything you do for her is to escape from yourself and the absurdity in your heart, and it is ultimately just a bottomless cycle. The existence of Cantrela reveals the absurdity of all this: no matter how hard you try to accumulate and how you break through, those external achievements cannot change the emptiness in your heart, and cannot make you walk out of this absurdity.
So you keep moving forward, for her and for yourself, but you will eventually realize that every choice you face is nothing but an inescapable absurdity.